Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
