Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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