it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
