Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize