I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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