So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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