Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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