How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
