That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
