i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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