Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
