Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have demons in me.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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