We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
