He told me they were just razor bumps!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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