is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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