Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
