my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
