well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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