I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
