Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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