I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
