i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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