And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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