let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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