i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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