remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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