She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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