what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
