I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
