If i come over, it means nothing
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
