I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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