quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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