We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize