In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh god it's open bar.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
