Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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