I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
