I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
