From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
