i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
