i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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