laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
