Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
