I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
