Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
