hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
