I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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