I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
