she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
