Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
