Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
