Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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