I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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