What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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