Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
