There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Randomize
