Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
