lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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