Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
