you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize