Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
