I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
