Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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